Tuesday in the NICU (I love good news!)

Today I am being trained on how to do Braxton's colon dilation and saline enemas. Add this to the list of Things I Never Wanted To Know How To Do.

But here's some good news.

1. Braxton has been tolerating his (small) milk feedings, so tomorrow we get to try breastfeeding.

2. Braxton's xrays continue to look good. In fact, his Dr told me that if he was just seeing him for the first time, he wouldn't think he has hirschsprung's.

3. The surgeon saw Braxton last night, and was so encouraged at his progress that we are stopping the antibiotics tomorrow night. AND if Braxton's feedings are still going well, we could be going home as early as this weekend.

4. We are going to go ahead and do the colon biopsy about a week after we go home, vs waiting until Braxton is ready for surgery in about 5 weeks. If the biopsy comes back good, we won't need to do surgery. Originally the Dr's were so sure they were looking at hirschsprung's, they were just planning on doing the biopsy on the same day as surgery.

5. The results of yesterday's brain monitoring came back completely normal. Braxton was not having seizures, just little twitches in his sleep.

6. My little boy is stinkin' cute.


Your prayers are working, and we are eternally grateful.

Monday in the NICU

When we got to the NICU on Thursday, Braxton's abdomen was swollen to a huge 36cm, from his normal of around 31.5cm, and extremely red and tight. He was immediately put on a suction tube that slowly drew air and fluid out of his tummy. His white blood count also indicated an infection, so he was placed on a cocktail of antibiotics.

Slowly the infection and swollen abdomen have gone down. Yesterday the suction tube was removed, with a close eye kept on the abdomen circumference. Thankfully the circumference has remained steady around 32cm. Today Braxton is allowed to get 10ml of milk every three hours, and we'll continue to monitor his abdomen.

Every morning Braxton is getting xrays to check on the status of his colon. Yesterday, the dr told us that there had, in fact, been a blockage (probably a meconium plug) and that it was now gone. That now raises question as to whether or not Braxton even has this disease, called hirschsprung's. We have to continue down the path for surgery, assuming he does have it. But a biopsy will be done on the day of surgery, and that will determine whether or not we go ahead.

As I've been sitting here writing this, a team of nurses have been working on putting brain sensors on Braxton's scalp to monitor his brain activity. Braxton had been doing some unusual twitching with his arms and legs that had his nurse concerned. As of right now, we've been monitoring his brain for about 15 minutes, and the dr likes what he sees. The twitches are probably not seizures, and probably just Braxton moving through sleep cycles.

Pics!

 Here are some pics from "round one" in the NICU.

Can I just say how much I hate the fact that I am at home right now, while my baby is across town at the hospital?  Mommies are not meant to be apart from their newborns.  It sucks.  Just being real....

Round Two

We are back in the NICU, as of yesterday afternoon. Braxton's feedings had been declining (not that they were good to begin with), and then he started throwing up his milk. We took him to the pediatrician to be on the safe side, and they sent us straight back to the hospital.

Braxton's abdomen was huge and red, indicating serious problems with his bowels. Tests revealed he has a colon disease (I still need to look up the name) and will need surgery to remove part of his colon. But first he needs to fight off infection and get stronger. So we are anticipating a week here at the hospital, followed by 4-5 weeks at home to build strength before surgery.

Our family has once again stepped up to help us out, and our kids are on their way to Seattle as I type this. They will be gone for about ten days, which will be hard on us all, but we feel it's the best solution for now.

Thank you all for your heartfelt support.

Praising Him in this storm...

One day at a time

First of all, I want to say thank you for the outpouring of support.  From comments on here and facebook, to visits from friends, phone calls and text messages, we definitely feel the love.

In the post I wrote yesterday, I didn't get a lot into how I feel about Braxton.  So I want to take a moment to set the record straight.

Braxton is perfect.  I love him in every way.  He is adorable.  I love the sounds he makes.  I love the way he scrunches up his forehead when he's trying to look at something while he's nursing.  I love the way he "roots" in the wrong direction.  I love the details of his face - his chubby cheeks, his round eyes, his tiny lips.  I love the smell of him, and the feel of his soft, wispy hair.  I love his delicate, tiny fingernails.  I even love the extra little fold of skin on the back of his neck.

I love everything about him.  Even his 47th chromosome.

One thing I have learned in this very short time of living with Down syndrome, is that it is easy to get overwhelmed when thinking into the future.  Will his heart heal on its own?  Will he meet all his developmental milestones?  When will we be able to pull the feeding tube?  How long will he be on oxygen?  And so on, until a downward spiral of worry begins.

So, my new mantra is, One Day at a Time.

I'm not going to worry about tomorrow.  I'm not going to worry about meeting milestones.  I'm not even going to worry about his next feeding.  I'm going to focus on right now.  Hugging my baby.  Changing his diaper.  Kissing his cheeks.

The rest will come.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Braxton's Story - Diagnosis

"I think your son might have Down syndrome."

I heard those words and wanted to throw up.  We were sitting in the little area of the NICU where Braxton's incubator was, behind the closed curtains.  It was our first morning there after a scary afternoon and night before.  Braxton was finally seeming stable - on fluids, temp rising - and we were finally starting to breathe a little easier.  We still had the issue of Braxton not pooping, but the enemas were being given regularly and we felt sure that the poop would come soon.  It ended up taking a couple more days for the poop to come, but it did, and it hasn't let up since.

I looked at the Doctor in quiet disbelief.  Our son was three days old.  How was it possible that he could have Down syndrome?  Isn't that something that is noticeable from the moment babies are born?  The midwives didn't say anything.  Our friends and family didn't say anything.  Not even the Nurse Practitioner, who was the one who sent us to the hospital, said anything.

Brian and I looked at each other in shock.  The Doctor said a few things about the signs he was seeing.  Something about Braxton's eyes, and an extra fold of skin on the back of his neck.  He also pointed out some "typical" signs that Braxton didn't have.  Things like square hands and a curved pinkie finger.  Then he paused for a moment to let Brian and I catch our breath.

I wanted to cry, or scream, or shout "NO!" and run out of there with my baby.  But instead, the words that came out of my mouth kind of surprised me.

"God has been preparing me this entire pregnancy to hear those words."

The pregnancy itself was a surprise.  We hadn't been trying to get pregnant.  Once we got over the initial shock of having another baby, we were really excited.  Every day of the pregnancy Brian would pray over me, asking God for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.  I think every parent worries about their unborn child, and whether or not they will be healthy or "normal".  Most people worry for nothing.  Both of my prior pregnancies resulted in healthy babies, so really, what did I have to worry about?

Yet early on in the pregnancy I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with my baby.  I even told a friend that I couldn't get Down syndrome out of my mind.  I tried to brush it off, telling myself that it wasn't of God to worry.

Then came our 14-week ultrasound, which was the morning after the night we though I had miscarried.  This ultrasound was the first in a series of genetic tests.  We were actually having second thoughts on getting the tests done, as they typically have a high percentage of false-positives.  And we knew that we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy for any reason, so what was the point in subjecting ourselves to worry.  But given the fact that we thought we had lost the baby, we decided to go ahead with the ultrasound.

Amazingly, the ultrasound showed an active, kicking baby.  Brian and I watched in wonder as our little baby moved around while the technician took measurements.  We were so relieved to see an active baby that we didn't care what the results were - or at least we didn't put much thought to it.

A few days later I got a call with the results of the genetic screening.  "The results came back reassuring. Your baby has a 1 in 86 chance of having Down syndrome."

Reassuring?  1 in 86 is reassuring?  They assured me that anything above 1 in 50 was good, although they do like to see the number more in the thousands.

Yikes.  I didn't feel good about those numbers at all.  But we reminded ourselves that there was only a 70% accuracy in that test, so that brought the odds even lower.

Ultimately I brushed off those test results, chose not to get the follow-up test, and decided not to stress about it.

Throughout the pregnancy my eyes were opened up to Down syndrome more than ever before.  A blog friend of mine announced that she and her husband are adopting two girls with Down syndrome.  About a year ago I read this birth story.  Then five days before Braxton was born I read this.

When the Doctor left us alone to digest what he had just told us, Brian and I looked at each other, burst into tears, and hugged.  We prayed that the test results, which were expected to come back in 72 hours, would be negative.  We notified our immediate families, and the pastors who came to the hospital to pray with us.

The next 72 hours were long, and an emotional roller coaster.  At times one of us would be strong while the other one broke down.  Sometimes we both broke down together.  We talked about lost dreams we had for Braxton.  Things like getting married and having a family.  We talked about how we worried about him being accepted as he grows up.  And we talked about all the other scary health issues that can arise with Down syndrome.

We tried to remind ourselves that we didn't have the results back yet, so nothing was final.  We spent a lot of time just staring at Braxton and studying his features.  For the life of me, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't see anything wrong with any of his features.  Then one night when I went home from the hospital for about an hour, I hopped on the computer and looked at the pictures we took right after Braxton's birth.  There it was.  In every single photo, I could see it.

When Braxton was born, there were three immediate thoughts that went through my mind.  First, of course, was "is he okay?"  A distant second was, "is it a boy or a girl?"  And finally, as the midwives left the room, I leaned over and whispered to Brian, "is his ear okay?"  That thought that I had suppressed the entire pregnancy suddenly came rushing back as I looked at Braxton's ear.  The shape seemed odd to me - kind of squished and puffy at the same time.

Brian assured me that the ear was just that way from delivery.  And since the midwives didn't say anything was wrong with him, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Friday was the day we were to get the results, and we anticipated that day like no other.  I was holding my breath, standing at a fork in a trail, waiting to see which direction life would be taking us.  I wanted to have faith that Braxton would not have Down syndrome.  But my mind and heart were both telling me otherwise.

The results didn't come in Friday, or even Saturday, as we were told they would.  As agonizing as that additional wait could have been, I think God knew we needed some extra time to continue to process things.  We continued to pray, and continued to have faith.  And we realized that "having faith" didn't just mean believing for negative results.  We realized that having faith meant trusting in God's plan, no matter what.  We also had to let go of our plans for Braxton and realize that God created him for a specific plan - extra chromosome or not.

On Monday afternoon, back at home with Braxton, we called the hospital to see if the results were in.  All the Doctors were gone, we were told, and the nurse wasn't sure about the results.  We called the Pediatrician just to see if the results had been faxed to her office, and sure enough, they had.  But all the Doctors had gone home there, too, and the nurse couldn't give us the results.  That was the most agonizing part - knowing the results were in, but that no one could tell us.

I was upstairs folding Braxton's laundry and Brian stepped downstairs for a moment.  I could hear the phone ring, and Brian answer it.  He came quickly upstairs and hung up just as he was entering our bedroom.  His face said it all.

Our boy has Down syndrome.

NICU update - Thursday morning

Yesterday Braxton had an ultrasound done of his heart to see if there were any problems.  There are, in fact, holes in the muscle that divides the left and right chambers.  This is considered a fairly "minor" heart defect, and over the next few months is expected to turn into a heart murmur and then heal itself.  Please pray for rapid healing.

In good news, Braxton had an excellent nursing this morning.  Please pray that those continue with regularity.  He is also maintaining a good body temp as the temp in his bed slowly gets turned down.

We have a lot of support from friends and family right now, and we are so thankful.  Everything from live-in childcare to meals has been taken care of.  Brian and some of the kids are sick though, so please pray for healing.

I am living at the hospital in a tiny little room when I'm not with Braxton.  We are on a 3-hour feeding and pumping routine which means I only get short breaks for eating and sleeping.  So far I am holding up, but things are starting to take their toll on me. 

We are not sure about a discharge date yet, as things need to stabilize more.  But we are expecting at least a couple more days. 

Thank you again for all your prayers.

NICU

Braxton has been in the NICU for the past 36 hours.

We had been having trouble getting him to eat, pretty much from the beginning.  But some of our feedings were "good", so we weren't overly worried.  Until we hit the 48-hour mark and he still hadn't passed his first stool. 

We went in to the Pediatrician's office to have him checked over, and things quickly got scary.  Although Braxton had an excellent nursing while we were in the office, we discovered some alarming things.  First of all, the nurse was completely shocked that she was unable to get him to poop by inserting a rectal thermometer.  That was a first for her.  Second, his cries and overall demeanor were weak, and his reflexes very slow.  Most alarming, however, was that we discovered his body temp was a mere 91.1 degrees.

Next thing, we were in an ambulance on our way to the ER, then quickly admitted into NICU.

It's been a scary two days, but things are finally starting to stabilize.  Body temp is back up to normal.  And after many, many enemas and rectal injections, we finally have poop.  We do know that there is a narrowing of the colon, which should correct itself with more feedings.

I have been allowed to try to nurse Braxton this evening, but he's been too tired to give it much of a try.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better with that.

We still have some unknowns and hurdles to pass, but things are slowly improving.  We appreciate your prayers for little Braxton and our family.

Introducing...

Braxton Sterling White

The Story

We had a hard time deciding what status my labor was at, because my contractions were kind of all over the place.  They were super intense - enough to make me cry by about the 5th contraction.  I was in the bathtub for that one, and I looked at Brian and told him I didn't know if I could do this.  Here we were at the beginning of my labor and I was already having contractions more intense than I remembered ever having.

We called my midwife when the contractions were between 8-15 minutes apart.  She said to lay down and try to stop them since I was only just barely 37 weeks.  But if we couldn't stop them, that's fine, and plan on coming in to the birthing center when they were about 3 minutes apart - or even as close as 90 seconds.

I went to bed and rested on my left side.  Sure enough, we made it past the 15-minute mark, and even past 20.  So we figured that perhaps this really was false labor and things would start slowing down.  But then just as quickly as they slowed down, they sped up again.

By 2:00 AM we were calling my step-dad to come over for childcare.  Contractions were 5 minutes apart and we figured we would be leaving soon.

I was rotating between laying in bed, kneeling against the bed, and standing in Brian's arms.  Brian was a great coach for helping me through my breathing.  A lot of the contractions I could manage with my focal point and steady breathing, but some of them quickly got so bad that I would lose control and start to panic and nearly hyperventilate.  Brian was great at getting me back on track.  And oh - the back labor.  Some times having Brian rub my back or apply pressure would help, but sometimes it would make it worse.  And I couldn't talk, so other than grunting or making some other noise, I offered no helpful advice.  I did, however, drop the occasional "f-bomb", so I'm sure that was helpful.

By 4:00 AM things still weren't progressing past 5 minutes apart, and poor Brian was delirious.  I told him to give me the watch and the paper, and that I would try to monitor my own contractions while he got some rest.  From 4:00 - 5:00 I labored in bed, timing my own contractions, which had now slowed to 8-10 minutes apart.  But boy were they doozies.  But at least I got some rest in-between.

I woke Brian up at 5:00 because my contractions were too intense to handle on my own.  They were also back to about 5-6 minutes apart.  I couldn't sit or lay down any more, so I mostly stood and held onto Brian.  Even though the contractions were still technically too far apart, the pain and pressure between them was so intense that I told Brian I thought we should leave soon.  When they finally got to about 4-5 minutes apart, we called the midwife and said we were coming in.  Brian lied and said we were "about 3 minutes apart".

I hobbled down the stairs and to the car while Brian grabbed the last of our stuff.  Trying to sit on the car seat was about the cruelest joke ever.  Hurt.  So.  Bad.  We pulled out of our neighborhood and onto the road, and I immediately lost control of my contraction and started yelling "I think I need to push!", but started frantically blowing as Brian shouted "don't push!  blow it away!".  I had one more contraction like that before we pulled up to the front door of the birthing center.

As Brian was turning the car off, he quickly fiddled with the CD player, as the music he knew I wanted to listen to during labor was still in the car.  But he couldn't figure out how to eject the CD, and I think I mentioned something along the lines of "eff it", so he hopped out and started to come around to my door.

Suddenly I started screaming that I couldn't get out and that I needed to push RIGHT NOW.  Brian turned around, ran inside the birthing center and yelled for the midwives.

It was during this moment that I looked down and realized that the CD had ejected.  So I thought, "hmm, don't want it to go back into the player, so I better grab it" and I reached down and grabbed the CD and placed it on the center console.

Before Brian could even get back outside (and it's not a big place - he was gone maybe 9 seconds) I started screaming bloody murder.  "THE BABY'S COMING, THE BABY'S COMING NOW, I CAN FEEL IT'S HEAD."  Through my sweat pants I could feel the head starting to bulge.

Right then the midwives got to my car door and asked if I could get out of the car.  "No, I can't move.  The head's already out."  The midwife pulled my pants down and said that the head wasn't out yet, and that it was cold outside, and could I move inside?  "No."  And just then the head popped out.

The other midwife ran in and got towels to put under me and to catch the baby with.  When the baby's head was out we could see that it was still fully inside the still-intact sack.  A few seconds later and the body was out, and the midwife was peeling back the sack.

There I was, sitting in my car, pants around one ankle, shoes on the gravel, holding my baby in a towel.  I was of course worried that the baby was okay, but the midwife kept checking him and saying it was fine, despite its purple color.  We needed to get inside where it was warm.



It wasn't until we were in our room, situated on the bed, checking over the baby that we even thought to check to see the gender.  Honestly, by then it didn't really matter.  I had a beautiful baby in my arms, still attached by umbilical cord, and I was completely in love.

Every thing else went completely well.  I felt great.  Baby was doing amazing.  And Brian and I just kept looking at each other, laughing and saying "I just had a baby in the car".

There were so many little miracles along the way that had God's hand all over them.  Even just little things, like the fact that I had "let go" of my desire to have someone in the room with us, photographing the entire birth.  Also, since I hadn't yet made it to my 37-week appointment, we hadn't tested for Group B Strep, so we hadn't decided whether or not we would treat for it.  But since the baby was born in an intact sack, there was virtually no risk of contracting GBS.  Oh, and not to mention the fact that Brian was originally scheduled to be flying home from Singapore later the same day the baby was born.  I also keep thinking to myself, what if we had waited at home for just one more contraction?  We would have had the baby on the side of the road.

God's hand was all over every little detail.  Everyone's fine.  And now we have a fun story to tell.

Pics to come.  But not of the delivery...

It's a BOY!

We are home with our amazing, precious, healthy baby boy.  We are still working on the perfect name for this little bundle.  But his stats are:  6 pounds, 10 ounces, 21 inches.

I can't wait to share all the details about the labor and delivery.  There is a bit of a shocker over exactly where he was born.  Stay tuned for the details!

Weekend Update

Does my title put anyone else in the mood for some vintage SNL?

We got a boatload of stuff accomplished this weekend.

1.  The boys' room is finished with painting.

2.  We reorganized their closet, consolidated their clothing, and were able to completely get rid of their dresser (which was also a changing table) and put all of their clothes in the closet.  With the absence of a dresser they will have a lot more play space in their room.

3.  I organized the linen closet and got rid of a tall stack of sheets we weren't using.  Also made room for the extra crib sheets which used to be in the boys' room.

4.  Brian got our baby clothes boxes out of the attic and we took an inventory of what we had saved:  three newborn girl outfits and one newborn boy outfit.  Hmmm, baby might be naked a lot.

5.  We took a load of clothes and linens to the thrift store to donate.  While we were there we picked up three more newborn girl outfits and two newborn boy outfits.  Whew - at least baby will have a couple things to wear before we can get out to the store after his/her birth.

6.  I washed our cloth diapers and got the changing table in our room all organized.  Yes, I even put stuff in the baskets!

7.  We (okay, mostly Brian) got the bunk bed sanded and the first coat of paint on it.  Despite rain being forecasted for the weekend, we ended up having a few hours of sunshine and 60 degrees.  So we took full advantage.

8.  Brian and I snuck out for a date Saturday night.  We had a nice dinner, then got some shopping done at Target, where we picked up a few storage solutions for the kids' rooms.  We even snuck over to the pet store and brought home a pet fish for the kids.

9.  Brian and I got in a couple hours of birthing videos.  We went back and forth on whether we wanted to take a birthing class as a refresher or not.  This will be my first birth without an epidural, so we wanted to arm ourselves with more birthing skillz.  Ultimately we decided against a class, and instead borrowed this series from our library.

If we paid attention to what we learned in the birthing video, I think we could safely say I was "nesting" all weekend.  According to the video, nesting occurs about two weeks before the baby is born, and lasts about 48-hours before exhaustion sets in again.

I say "bah" to that, because, well, there is still a lot more stuff I need to get done.  Also, I still have three more weeks before I would be eligible to deliver at the birthing center.  So, baby, if you're listening, stay in there at least a few more weeks.  Okay?  Mom says.

Three Years Ago

It was 4:50 AM, and Brian dropped me off at the Emergency Doors of the hospital downtown.  The main doors were locked since it was so early in the morning.  Brian drove off to park the car, and we had agreed to meet on the 2nd floor - Labor and Delivery Triage.

I was scheduled to be induced at 5:00 that morning, two weeks before my actual due date.  Our moods were calm, happy and excited.

I walked through the Emergency lobby, asked an attendant which way the elevators were, and continued down the hallway.  The hallway went on forever.  There were no people around, and sometimes the lights were only dim.  I kept going, but soon felt like I must have missed a turn somewhere.  My surroundings weren't looking like "public access" anymore.

I turned around to trace my steps and see if I had missed anything.  Sure enough, about half-way back, there was a wide hallway to the right that I must have missed.  I turned down it, and on the right-side wall I noticed some beautiful quilts hanging.  I admired them as I walked past.

Soon I found myself in the (dark and deserted) main lobby that I've been in many times.  I knew from there I would be able to find the elevators.  I even saw a sign that said "Elevators" with an arrow pointing, so I followed it.  I wound up walking through the same wide hallway I had just been through, and again admired the quilts, this time on the left-side wall.

I continued down a maze of smaller hallways and eventually found a single elevator.  It was big, so it could fit a gurney in it.  I scanned the keypad for the number 2, and pushed it.  It didn't light up.  I tried again.  No matter what I did, I couldn't get the number 2 to light up.  So I pushed 4.  I waited until the door opened up on the 4th floor, then closed, and then I pushed 2 again.  Nothing happened.  Then I fought back tears.

Meanwhile, Brian has parked the car in the parking garage, grabbed our bags, gone up to Triage on the 2nd floor, and saw that I wasn't there waiting for him.  He assumed I'd already been taken back to get hooked up, so he went to the window and said "I'm here to see my wife".  "No one has checked in here", said the nurse.

Back in the elevator I decide to push the button for the First floor and go back to where I started.  On my way down the hall towards the Emergency Room I again pass the wide hallway with the now-familiar quilts.  Only something happens this time.  Instead of looking at the quilts, my eyes glance to the wall opposite of them.  Where there is a BANK OF ELEVATOR DOORS.

I quickly get on an elevator and push the "2" button without any problems.  The door opens on the 2nd floor and I immediately see Brian and a nurse with slightly concerned looks on their faces.

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it", I choke.

And we headed back to have a baby.



Read about what happened next here, here, here, here, and here. 

New Year Projects

I have a few projects on my brain right now as we start the new year.  There is something about the weeks following Christmas that leave me feeling inspired.  The house is de-cluttered, the air is fresh, and everything feels new and exciting.  Even our first day of school today has gone well.  I think I love January.

One of the projects that has moved toward the front of my brain, is of course our pending fifth child.  (That sounds so utilitarian and not at all maternal, doesn't it?)  Up until now, the baby hasn't been on my brain a lot.  Don't get me wrong - I am very excited for this new arrival.  It's just that when you already have four kids, you don't find yourself lost in baby-thought as much as with the first baby.  Actually, mostly I've just been "lost" and not much in "thought" at all.

So anyway, the baby is our next big "event" and now that we are through the holidays we are thinking about it a bit more.  Over the weekend we spent some time thinking about names.  Pretty much we just spent a few hours vetoing each other's suggestions.  Also up for discussion are things like; where is the baby going to sleep, what kind of stroller do we want, and how are we going to fit five kids in our car.

Speaking of "where is the baby going to sleep?" brings me to the next possible project we are tossing around.  Adding about 550 square feet to our house.  We came up with the idea of punching out our family room wall and adding a bonus room off the side of the house.  We figure we can live with our current four bedrooms, but that we really desire more room for the family to spread out.  A place for the kids to go off and play.  So we thought a bonus room on the main floor would be perfect, since we all know kids like to be close to the rest of the action.

Well what started as plans for adding a square bonus room has now turned into a 50% increase in square footage, including a bedroom, bathroom, media area, craft area, play area and storage closet.

I'm pretty sure we're pricing ourselves out of our own idea, but we'll see.  There might be some flexibility if we do as much as we can ourselves, and do things in phases.

And speaking of demolition, the kids had their own demo-project going on today.

Lastly, I am doing some thinking about the way we are currently home schooling.  We are currently using the K12 program, which has it's pros and cons.  I have really appreciated the fact that all our curriculum, supplies, and even computer were sent to us - for free.  However, that also meant that I didn't have a say in what kind of curriculum we use.  Plus, surprisingly, I haven't enjoyed being as "married" to the computer as we have been.

So I had a great conversation with a friend last week (Mary at Owlhaven) and got some great tips about "going rogue" on our home schooling.  Mary answered a lot of my questions and took away a lot of the fear I've had about choosing our own curriculum and doing our own thing.

I am definitely leaning towards going our own route for next year.  But I am even considering switching things up for the rest of this year.  Again, it's not that K12 has been terrible or anything.  In fact, without that program and the fact that they completely held my hand through our first start at home schooling, I probably wouldn't have had the guts to give it a try.  It's just that I am craving a simpler way of doing things - picture grabbing a math book and sitting at the kitchen counter, and incorporating more of "life's lessons" into our learning.

So anyway, that's everything that's on my mind this week.  We will be praying about these things and hopefully making the best decisions for our family over the next few months.

A Timeline

July 29 - I arrive home from a long trip in Washington.  Brian is home from a trip to Japan.  We are really happy to see each other.  (Hee, hee - TMI!)

August 8 - Sunday night, and I am packing for our family vacation the next morning.  Suddenly I have a suspicious feeling.  I rummage through my bathroom drawer and find an old pregnancy test - in the foil wrapper, but with no directions.  I pee on it, and a line shows up in each of the two windows.  Then I realize that without the directions, I have no idea what the two lines mean.  I head down to the computer with a pale face, kick Brian off, and try googling the serial number.  That yielded no additional information, so off to Walgreens Brian went.  Two tests later and we had confirmation that, yes, I was 4 weeks pregnant.

Week 5 - We enjoyed our family vacation despite the fact that I wasn't able to enjoy most of our planned activities (mimosas, wakeboarding and hot tubbing). 

Week 6 - We went camping at Redfish Lake.  I continued my training for a 1/2 marathon and enjoyed a nice 5+ mile run.

Week 7 - The fatigue and constant nausea set in.

Week 7.5 - I start homeschooling Emma.

Week 8 - Completed my longest-ever run (7 miles) with my training partner.  The next day, had some spotting, so got some blood work and an ultrasound to make sure everything looked okay with the pregnancy.  Everything checked out fine.

Week 9 - I quit running, but continued swimming and walking.

Week 10 - I head to Florida for a visit with my brother and his family.  I feel sick the whole time.

Week 11 - I have my first OB checkup.  Things look great.

Week 11.5 - We finally tell our kids that we are having a baby.

Week 12 - Brian and I go on our anniversary trip.  My pregnancy sickness is still not any better, plus I get the flu on our last day.

Week 13 - I feel little "flutters" when the baby moves.

Week 14 - I suddenly start bleeding heavily on a Sunday night.  Brian and I are sure we've lost the baby.  We opt not to go to the ER, unless I really need to, since we have a scheduled ultrasound the next morning.  We survive an emotional night.  Then, miraculously, the next morning the bleeding stopped, and the ultrasound showed the baby alive and well.  The bleeding was from the placenta, but there was no explanation for it.

Week 15 - I start researching a local birthing center and feel compelled to give it a try.  We tour the facility and meet with one of the midwives, and decide to transfer there for the remainder of my prenatal care.

Week 17 - I finally start feeling like the "morning sickness" is over. 

Week 20 - We finally make the announcement to the rest of our family (in person), that we are having another baby.  It feels so good to finally be able to talk about it in the open.

Week 20.5 - We have our ultrasound and manage to exercise self-control and not find out the sex.  Everything looks good with the baby.

Why I'm such a bad blogger

I am so excited to finally share with you why I have been such a spotty blogger lately. 

It's not writer's block.

It's not that I've been too busy homeschooling.

It's not that I've been consumed with birthdays and holidays.

It's not that I have nothing going on to blog about.


It's that I've had writer's block, been busy homeschooling, throwing birthday parties for my kids, getting ready for the holidays....all while BEING PREGNANT.

We have finally shared with all our family, so I can finally share with all of you, that we are expecting our fifth (FIFTH!) child next April!  That puts me at about 20 weeks along right now.

We are very excited.  And we were very surprised.  I'll share more details over the coming weeks.

Happy Thanksgiving!