Wednesday, April 06, 2011

One day at a time

First of all, I want to say thank you for the outpouring of support.  From comments on here and facebook, to visits from friends, phone calls and text messages, we definitely feel the love.

In the post I wrote yesterday, I didn't get a lot into how I feel about Braxton.  So I want to take a moment to set the record straight.

Braxton is perfect.  I love him in every way.  He is adorable.  I love the sounds he makes.  I love the way he scrunches up his forehead when he's trying to look at something while he's nursing.  I love the way he "roots" in the wrong direction.  I love the details of his face - his chubby cheeks, his round eyes, his tiny lips.  I love the smell of him, and the feel of his soft, wispy hair.  I love his delicate, tiny fingernails.  I even love the extra little fold of skin on the back of his neck.

I love everything about him.  Even his 47th chromosome.

One thing I have learned in this very short time of living with Down syndrome, is that it is easy to get overwhelmed when thinking into the future.  Will his heart heal on its own?  Will he meet all his developmental milestones?  When will we be able to pull the feeding tube?  How long will he be on oxygen?  And so on, until a downward spiral of worry begins.

So, my new mantra is, One Day at a Time.

I'm not going to worry about tomorrow.  I'm not going to worry about meeting milestones.  I'm not even going to worry about his next feeding.  I'm going to focus on right now.  Hugging my baby.  Changing his diaper.  Kissing his cheeks.

The rest will come.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Pure Mod Life said...

That was such a sweet post, I agree those 1st few days are too precious...i just love their sweet breath, skin, & just about everything newborn! have fun cuddling your baby. We are all so proud of you. Still happy to bring dinner to ur fam if it's needed next week, since it looks like this week is covered!

Crystal said...

Shana that is all that you can do is take it one day at a time and the rest will come. Just enjoy every day and all the little things about each and every day with him! That's what I have learned to do too. Your right looking to far forward is overwhelming.

Two Little Birds said...

I am a complete lurker, so thanks for letting me chime in. I loved your post - so from the heart. I am a high school resource teacher and currently work with 3 teens with DS. After having my life so enriched by them, I would not blink if I had a child with DS - just embrace my child as a wonderful gift. My one student plays the piano, the other is on the swim team, and the other is my little fashion consultant! If these kids are not raised thinking they have limitations, all will be inspired by the greatness they achieve!

Renee said...

You are so blessed to have each other. Praying for you!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow! My tears are coming as I read the story and the comments.... I'm so proud to say that I am Braxton's grandma Barb!
Love Barb

Denise from Ethiopia said...

You were such an answer to prayer for Biniam - his prayers, and the prayers of so many of us with him at Layla. And you'll be the same answer to prayer for Braxton. God has made you so loving and so strong.

Ethiopiana said...

Hi Shana,
I've read your blog for several years. You have a beautiful family and no doubt, little Braxton will be an amazing part of it. Please, if you haven't already, read Kelle Hampton's blog!!! It's
and it's beautiful and so is her baby, Nella. Congrats on your new baby.

Brown Birdy said...

I've said it before and I'll say it in times to come...I LOVE the White family and all the details that God has used to make your family...It came to mind as I was reading about some of the families that I've found via your blog-those who have adopted and knowingly and sometimes unknowningly adopted children w special needs...and their family dynamic just gets sweeter! I know that God knew just what He was doing by placing Braxton in your family-a family where everyone has a place, feels loved and knows they are accepted. Braxton's life is going to be so full of love and future! I'm praying for you all-I can't wait for Brax to be healthy so I can squish him and love him!!!

Brown Birdy said...

Oh wow Lisa! Hello tears! Shana you must go read...I know everyones story is dif-but this story offers such hope and encouragement...seriously I want to meet this mama and her Nella is so stinkin cute are you kidding me? What a great family!

Evan Lenz said...

Wow, Shana, you are learning to daily depend on God in a way I can only imagine--which means you're becoming more like Jesus, the most dependent person that ever lived.

Mama of 5 said...

Beautiful baby boy. Beautiful post. We have a son with special needs and your words stirred up old feelings of when our sweet boy was born and was a baby. Our son is almost 15 now and he is the most wonderful, sweet person. I'll be praying for your family. It will be a journey but one you will be so glad you got to experience.

Brianna Heldt said...

Love this. You are amazing. Praying for sweet Braxton and for your sweet family!