First of all, I want to say thank you for the outpouring of support. From comments on here and facebook, to visits from friends, phone calls and text messages, we definitely feel the love.
In the post I wrote yesterday, I didn't get a lot into how I feel about Braxton. So I want to take a moment to set the record straight.
Braxton is perfect. I love him in every way. He is adorable. I love the sounds he makes. I love the way he scrunches up his forehead when he's trying to look at something while he's nursing. I love the way he "roots" in the wrong direction. I love the details of his face - his chubby cheeks, his round eyes, his tiny lips. I love the smell of him, and the feel of his soft, wispy hair. I love his delicate, tiny fingernails. I even love the extra little fold of skin on the back of his neck.
I love everything about him. Even his 47th chromosome.
One thing I have learned in this very short time of living with Down syndrome, is that it is easy to get overwhelmed when thinking into the future. Will his heart heal on its own? Will he meet all his developmental milestones? When will we be able to pull the feeding tube? How long will he be on oxygen? And so on, until a downward spiral of worry begins.
So, my new mantra is, One Day at a Time.
I'm not going to worry about tomorrow. I'm not going to worry about meeting milestones. I'm not even going to worry about his next feeding. I'm going to focus on right now. Hugging my baby. Changing his diaper. Kissing his cheeks.
The rest will come.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.