Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Desire of My Heart

I was sweeping the floor this afternoon and had to suppress a feeling that is coming up often these days.  The feeling is a little bit sadness, a little big melancholy, and a lot sentimental.

As I was sweeping, I thought to myself, "this is one of the last times I will sweep this floor".  (Okay, at the rate my family messes the floor up, I still have approximately 65 more times to sweep before we move...but still.)

Then I started thinking about all the other times I've cleaned that floor.  Times when Emma was an only-child, and sat in the high chair that fit perfectly between the counter and the sliding door.  Times when we had to bribe Isaiah to eat by putting Kix cereal on every bite, and how Kix would end up all over the floor.  Times my kids have pushed toy cars across the floor.  Spills I've wiped up from parties with friends.  Sand I've swept up from the sand box Brian built.  Jelly I've wiped up from my kids learning independence and making their own sandwiches.

Oh man, I have it bad.  I am a sentimental fool.

I haven't cried yet...but I know I will.  We move in a week and a half, or less.

Today I was walking Braxton upstairs to go down for his nap.  I noticed his eyes looking all around, taking in all the sights.  "Take it all in, Baby, because it's going to change soon."

This move was our idea.  We chose to do this.  And I am excited.  But I am also happy where we are.  We've build a life here.  A really good life.  We've brought four of our five kids home to this house.  We have many, many memories.  The house is in a great location, and we have great neighbors.

Yet God put a dream in our hearts a long time ago to have a larger house, a larger yard, and a place where we truly wanted to raise our kids.  And He's brought the dream to life.

It's been so remarkable to see things unfold over the last six months.  Brian and I sat in a coffee shop, browsing houses online, and fell in love with a house just from the pictures.  We quickly put our dream to rest, as we found out the house had three other offers on it, plus it was a bit out of our price range.

Six months and a few broken deals later (and a significant price reduction), and that house is going to be ours.

Oh, how God loves to bless us.

Saying goodbye to this house feels a lot like saying goodbye to an old friend.  It's the house that built my far.  So I am turning to God for comfort and strength.  He will carry me through...He always does.

And He's giving me the desires of my heart.


Anonymous said...

Wow.....the tears are streaming down my face. My prayers are with you! Love Mom/Barb

Cindy said...

Boy that touched my heart Shana.
Congrats on your new house though.
Maybe someday Anthony and I can drive down to see you all.
Cindy and Anthony White

Alicia said...

I totally understand. I drove by my old home Saturday and it still holds a place in my heart. But I am very grateful for where I am now and it is all good.

Marie said...

I just had a baby 5 days ago, so I am a bit emotional lately, but this seriously made almost cry. You know the choking feeling before the tears flow? Yeah, I got that.

I am so excited for you guys and all the new memories and adventures that will come with this new home. Congratulations on the house and I hop the move goes smoothly. Love you guys!

Anonymous said...

Of all the things I love about you, Shana, maybe this is the one I love most: You are a chip off the old block!