Disrupting birth order

"Disrupting Birth Order" is a term used to describe what happens when you adopt a child out of age progression of existing children. For example, if we were to adopt someone older than Emma, she would no longer be our "first born", disrupting her birth order. Most "experts" advise against this; of course there are exceptions where this works out fine.

I have a strong desire to adopt an older child from Ethiopia at some point. My heart just breaks for the children who are old enough to understand that they are orphans, and who have to wait a long time in an orphanage. Older kids almost always have to wait much longer than younger ones to be adopted. It pains me to think what it must be like for them to watch kids come and go from the orphanage, while they still wait.

Most of the stories I have heard from families who have adopted older kids have been very positive, with the kids blending into the home nicely. But that doesn't mean that there won't be challenges. Afterall, these kids have seen and experienced more loss and pain than most of us could even imagine.

I think about these older kids often, but especially today after reading a message from our agency director that there are four sets of siblings available right now, consisting of one 8-year old, and one infant. One particular set I can't seem to get off my mind: an 8-year old girl and a 1-month old boy. That's all I know about them, yet somehow they have captured a piece of my heart.

Brian feels strongly about not disrupting birth order, and I guess I do to. For now, I will just pray for these precious children, and hope that they find a family soon, and won't have to experience any more pain.