I packed up Braxton's bottles last night and gave them to Brian to take home from the hospital. We had switched hospital rooms, and as I was moving the bottles it dawned on me that I won't need them. Maybe not ever again.
Braxton had another surgery yesterday. His second in two weeks. Over the last couple of months, and especially the last couple weeks, it has become obvious that it is not safe for Braxton to eat (drink - he's been 100% bottle fed) with his mouth. We knew that he was aspirating, which is why he had the surgery two weeks ago. We had his tonsils and adenoids removed, a laryngeal cleft repaired, and general airway lasering and clean-up to try and correct the asperating. But a follow-up swallow study this week showed that he is still asperating - possibly even more. So we needed to do something to make it safe for Braxton to eat.
Yesterday Braxton had a Nissen Fundoplication, and a G-tube placed.
This was the hardest decision we've had to make about Braxton's care. Not because it was the most serious issue he's faced. But because there were options. It wasn't clear-cut. We had to educate ourselves. Weigh risks and rewards. I interviewed everyone I came across and could think of who might have insight. Ultimately, we heard what we kind of wanted to hear, when the doctor said, "your son NEEDS this".
As I packed up those bottles, I realized I was packing up a period of Braxton's life, and that it was signaling a new period in his life. It could have been sad, but it really wasn't. I've had incredible peace the last few days since we've made our decision. And I am hopeful that this is opening up a new chapter of growth and development and good things for Braxton.
I am also thankful that I thought to snap a quick picture right before he finished his last bottle. (sorry I can't figure out how to add the picture from my ipad. If you're on instagram you've seen it already.)
Good things are coming.