Remembering

It was one year ago yesterday that we found out our would-be daughter, Meskerem, had passed away. Last night before bedtime Emma grabbed Meskerem's picture from her room and brought it out to share with everyone, which led to a time of talking about her and admiring her face. Biniam obviously knows about Meskerem since he was with us when we visited her grave on her birthday, but he had questions like "was she Isaiah's biological sister" and "were we still going to adopt Isaiah before she died" (no to both of those). We talk about Meskerem a lot around our house and the kids know her as their sister - the one with Jesus.

What I find interesting about all this is that I didn't realize the significance of yesterday's date until this morning. So our little time of remembering Meskerem last night was completely a coincidence - or more appropriately, God-ordained.

That was a painful time for us last year as we already loved Meskerem as our daughter, even though we had never held her. But we knew God had a plan for us - a plan bigger than we could have even dreamed. We now have two amazing boys that we likely would not have otherwise had. I still don't always understand why God allows people to suffer pain and loss, but I know enough to trust Him and rely fully on Him, for He already knows the plans He has for us.